Take Back America? To what?

I wanted to leave a comment on Take Back America's page. First, I had to enter a screen name, then my e-mail address, then my real name, then a password, then re-confirm the password. Then I had to wait for an e-mail to complete the process. Then I said "fuck it" and put some bread in my toaster.

Who do these people think they are, the IRS?

WHY I LOVE KARL ROVE

1. He looks like a giant, mobile fetus. (I have a "thing" for giant, mobile fetuses)
2. He is such a political genius that his candidate lost the popular vote in 2000, yet still became president through a coup by the Supreme court.
3. He is such a Machiavellian mastermind that his party lost both houses of congress in 2006.
4. His client has the worst approval ratings of any president since Richard Nixon.
5. The target of his man love is hated and despised throughout the world, especially by people who believe in such things as democracy and freedom.
6. The policies he has helped to bring to fruition have rendered his party helpless, irrelevant and permanently damaged beyond repair.
7. He has promised to never again run a political campaign. Yea.

Yes. I love Karl Rove.

ON FAITH: The Washington Post's Continuing Nonsense

Do you want to explore the musings, passions, quirks and histories of all sorts of people? Do you want to know who God is, and what happens when you die? Of course you do!! And all you have to do to find out is join this gigantic, monumental, cross generational, multi-cultural, all encompassing, inclusive, cyberspace circle jerk. Get out your dildo or vibrator, plant yourself in front of your keyboard and read the most meaningless gibberish ever printed since the portions of the Bible that report on who begat who begat who begat...

Oh, never mind. The bottom line is that when it comes to the meaning of life no one knows anything. It's all guess work, it's all speculation, it's all pointless. We'll all find out when we die. Not before. If nothing happens after we die, then that's what we'll know: Nothing. If something does happen, then that's what we'll know: Something.

Something or Nothing. That's what we'll know when we die. Can't we just wait?

My Candidate's "Faith" Response

Question: How does your faith affect your political beliefs?

Answer: It doesn't. In fact, it's none of your business. Wait! Let me be clearer on the subject: It's none of your fucking business. Or anyone else's, for that matter.

I'm not running as God's candidate. I'm not applying to be his spokesperson. I don't believe he's chosen a political party. I don't think he's a registered Republican or Democrat. If anything, he's probably an Independent, but I can't guarantee that, either.

God is up there, or out there, or somewhere, very busily running a universe. He's got enough on his hands-- what with making sure that gravity works, light travels at the right speed, that every action has a reaction and yada, yada, yada.

What he's NOT doing is running our country. That's our job. We wrote the constitution. We wrote the Bill of Rights. We established checks and balances. We created a democracy. We are to ones who make it work--or not.

I'm applying for the job of running our country. I want to be the Top Guy, the one who makes sure we even have a country. I want to protect our civilization, by ensuring our rights and freedoms. I'm not going to ask God for guidance in these areas, because I don't need to. If I don't already know how to do the right thing, then I have no business being your President. Do you want me to have to ask God for his opinion before I make a decision? Should we turn the Oval Office into a shrine? Should I just pray for guidance every morning and then do what the voice in my head tells me to do?

I think not. I'm not going to pander to the religious right, or irreligious left, for that matter. It is, after all, the "faith based community" that believes waterboarding, sleep deprivation, stress positions and extremes of hot and cold are not torture. It is people of faith who believe habeas corpus and the Geneva Conventions are "quaint". It is people with a "deep and abiding" love of God who think that AIDS is his punishment for Gays (never mind all those babies who are born with it--there just collateral damage, and besides, they'd probably grow up gay, anyways).

I don't want anything to do with those people. They are dead to me. They are Americans by birth only. They certainly have no concept of what a democracy is. They want a theocracy, and I will fight with every fiber of my being to stop them.

So, that is my answer, Mr. Journalist. Next question?

(BTW, my candidate, sadly, does not exist)

PARIS HILTON RELEASED FROM JAIL TO STAVE OFF "NERVOUS BREAKDOWN"

I love L.A.