I AM NOT GAY! I'VE NEVER BEEN GAY!
Sure, I've had sex with other men. In public bathrooms. But that was years ago, when I was in college. And, besides, isn't it the point of higher education to experiment?
Also, I was drunk. And confused. I was smoking a lot of pot and my defenses were down. Is it my fault these guys were so HOT?
Why can't I tap my foot in a stall? And move it over to rest innocently next to the foot of the guy next to me? I just like to compare shoes, and his were really HOT!
Yes, I still oppose gay rights and marriage. Two guys hooking up to have sex? In a bedroom? In private? Aren't they aware of the many fine public facilities in our nation's parks, airports and bus stops? What is wrong with these perverts? It's disgusting.
So, I'm resigning. I need to spend more time with my family. I'll also be going into rehab, where I can be cured of all those feelings and urges I already don't have. Because, I AM NOT GAY!
So, all you liberals and atheists and homosexuals can just go fuck yourselves. Which, come to think of it, would be really HOT!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment